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…it’s not like this is a series that retreats from complex, political narrative themes. A game is a space where players can create meaningful experiences for whatever value of "meaningful" is relevant to them. You can't control the player, and you can't force them to do anything the most you can do is convince or manipulate them, somehow, into doing things. What a design team builds is, largely, a scaffold: an edifice that the player engages and has an experience with. I've been teaching game design for almost ten years now, and in my game design classes, I tell my students that game design is the process of building an experience for the player. Instead, both Gilbert and Alois express something akin to “Best Bros” friendship, the Final Fantasy XV kind of emotional dude friendship. More to the point, their S-rank support conversations do not involve expressions of romantic love or anything of the sort. In the process of building a relationship with them, you find out both of them are married to women and have children! Now, "married to a woman" does not automatically mean "heterosexual," but I think "is in a likely monogamous relationship with someone else that is also the parent of their child" is definitely not a good look for a romantic support partner. The problem is that the supposed S-rank romantic supports with Gilbert and Alois-said older men-simply aren't romantic supports at all. To care about them and be invested in them. These are facts that you just won't see on the battlefield, but they give you glimpses into these character's lives, motivations, histories… they help the player connect to these characters. In Fates, stoic ninja Kagero's support conversations tend to focus around her desire to improve as a painter and artist. Conversations between armored knight Kellam and VICE Games' favorite farm boy, Donnel, in Awakening reveal that Kellam is a talented and knowledgeable horticulturalist. It's through support conversations between characters that we get to see the actual depth of characters in a Fire Emblem game. The game's "Lord" character, or once they started to appear the player-created main character, gets the lion's share of the narrative focus. The answer is simple: because it's a tactical map combat game, the average Fire Emblem does not have a lot of time or space to do in-depth narrative development of its typically expansive cast. Those who haven't played games in the series may wonder why support conversations-a largely narrative device-matter so much in a tactical map combat game.
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"Your choices matter, and your main character is designed by you, but just remember that if you choose to be queer your options are severely limited, there's no real story impact, and you're giving up minimum one playable unit in a game with permadeath" is a hell of a thing. What's important is that no opposite-gender pairing has what effectively amounts to a queer tax in terms of playable units, though, making this another marker of how "off to the side" the same-gender options can feel.
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It's not necessarily that copy/pasting Kana or Nina into a queer Corrin's game, complete with their attached child, is the better option. Never mind that there is a significant mechanical cost from either option in the form of missing playable units: Like Awakening, romantic supports in Fates between a man and a woman result in "child" units recruitable later, but a queer Corrin in a same-gender relationship doesn't have their child, Kana (and Niles doesn't father his child Nina, either). Just like in Three Houses, the actual text for the supports in Fates is the same regardless of Corrin's gender, so it's difficult to consider either option particularly explicit in terms of queerness. Of course, Valentia happened in 2017, after the success of both Fire Emblem Awakening and Fire Emblem Fates.
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Leon's various conversations with other characters (such as with colleague Kamui, unrequited love Valbar, or main character Celica) very directly talk about his queer identity, even if that queer identity is "fell in love with a dude who got killed, and is now in love with a clueless straight guy." Valentia's English script very directly makes explicit something that was sub-rosa in Gaiden it isn't shy about it at all. The best example is Leon from Shadows of Valentia, the recent 3DS remake of 1992’s Fire Emblem Gaiden. This isn't to say that there isn't explicit queerness in the series. Taking a look at the LGBTQ Game Archive's and Queerly Represent Me's pages for Fire Emblem as a series shows that the queerness seen and experienced in these games is often found more in player queering and interpretation than explicit inclusion. Over its history, it's done very little in terms of inclusion on that front. Fire Emblem is a series that has a complicated history indeed with queerness.